Days 4 and 5 - Thursday 22nd and Friday 23rd March 2007

The Boy's Work Experience, London Town
or, Loos of London (the Bog Blog)

Spent a happy day pootling round the posh shops today, most notably Harrods and Harvey Nicks (dahling). First, tube to TCR, coffee in Caffe Nero, then the tube to South Kensington, which is right next to the doors of Harrods, conveniently. Harrods is even signposted from the platform!

A nice lady in the lobby gave me a map, which you definitely need, and off I went in search of the 'luxury washrooms'. Actually they might have been luxurious 30 years ago, but just because a loo cubicle is made of pink marble, it doesn't necessarily make it extra special! Still, I had a squirt of free perfume on me way out.

I eschewed the dubious pleasures of the fashion floors. I've been there before, and my friend Mia had to put her hand over my mouth in the end to stop me snorting with derision at the stupidly stupid prices - honestly, you could buy a small terrace house in Lancashire for the cost of a jacket in Harrods!

Instead I spent a happy couple of hours in the food halls, which are magnificent, and stuffed full of the most wonderful provender I was hoping for some freebies of course, but nada! I really wanted to take photos, but that was just too touristy even for me. I did however see Hermione Norris in the fine groceries section. She looked very nice, and shorter than I had imagined. So she was week 1's 'Famous'. I didn't speak to her but we made brief eye contact and she sort of half smiled. I bought some rose flavoured tea (which is lovely, like Turkish Delight in a cup!), a jar of marmalade for Mrs T, some herb mayo for The Girl (she is addicted to mayo, she has it on her cereal!) and a tin of Provencal Herbs with lavender.

Then I went to the french cafe, which is called the Ladurée Tea Room (below), where I was terribly civilised and had Lapsang Souchong tea (in a silver pot) and 2 mini macaroons, one pistachio flavour (green) and one rose flavour (pink, obviously). The rose one was like a little bit of heaven on a silver edged plate. The whole snacklet cost me nearly £7, but it was worth it for the campness!

I then went to Harvey Nicks and snuffled round their food hall as well, where I bought some chocolate (for presents you understand, on no account did I eat a whole bar of chocolate with blueberries in it!) and some gluten free biscuit and pancake mixes. Harvey Nicks food hall is not nearly so much fun as Harrods', being all very monochrome and tasteful and chic looking.

Friday, after the now traditional trip by tube on the Northern Line to TCR but without the usual coffee in Caffe Nero, I headed off to check out Borough Market, which sits underneath Southwark Cathedral. I was too early and the market wasn't really underway (I thought markets started up really early!), so I had to go in a little bakery and have a coffee and a piece of gluten-free lemon and poppy seed cake, which was very satisfactory indeed! After that I had a wander round the outside of the cathedral, and then popped inside to use the loos (very clean, as you'd expect!) and have a cup of tea in their cafe. Then on to the market itself.

(I didn't take these 3 photos!)
The market is fab, but ludicrously expensive, probably thanks to Jamie Oliver. I wandered for ages, trying to decide what to buy and from which stall. The fish stall men must have thought I was some sort of dead-fish weirdo, the amount of times I went past there looking longingly at all the lovely seafood. I'm not allowed to cook fish at home as my family are all veggies, and anyway, we had a train journey ahead of us in the evening and I didn't think fish in my luggage would go down very well!

In the end I bought some goats cheese and some freshly made French butter, asparagus and samphire (how exciting, I haven't had that in years!!!) from this very stall, and some Spelt bread from a bakery stall - could've been this one, could've been another.

Later, at lunch time, The Boy and I saw these rather spectacular cakes in a bakery window on Old Compton Street (where else?!). Aren't they beautiful!

Day 3 - Wednesday 21st March 2007

The Boy's Work Experience, London Town
or, Loos of London (the Bog Blog)

Tube from Archway to Tottenham Court Road, coffee in Nero (loo still dreadful), bit of a wander then back to Highgate to defuzz.

This afternoon her Marvelous Majesty Mrs Tudor (my sister-in-law y'know) took me to Muswell Hill, where she was teaching a Pilates class at a rather posh gymnasium (http://www.labspa.co.uk/MUSWELLHILL.html) and had swung me a guest pass. Twas rather nice. I managed to swim a whole 4 lengths before I became in danger of dying of boredom, and had to get out and go and sit in the spa pool for about half an hour to recover. Further restorative work in the steam room and sauna brought me back to full consciousness. I was much amused to see an old girl come in, past the sign that said something like "you MUST shower before entering or you'll be chucked out on the street in your cozzie!", twirl nimbly under the shower (the ends of her hair got wet at least!), dump her towel on a lounger under the sign that said "Please use the hooks for your towels and leave the loungers for people who actually want to sit on them NOW" and swim very, very slowly the wrong way up and down the fast swimming lane!! The changing rooms were lovely, but patrolled by the scariest lady ever. I got comprehensively glared at for not being rich or posh enough. Had a splendid lunch in the cafe there with Mrs T - made the mistake of not being able to decide which of the many salads to have, and ended up with the hugest plate full ever!

Afterwards we headed off for Highgate Village, to have a wander in the cemetery (http://highgate-cemetery.org/index.asp). It's £2 to get in, and a further £1 to take photos - and I was honest and paid up! We saw Old Marxy - his tomb looks like an oversized garden gnome - possibly the tackiest memorial I've ever seen.

I believe this fella is Sisyphus, pushing his boulder eternally up a hill, poor sod. He seemed to have been quite randomly placed, was very small and looked like he was made of poo.
This one took me by surprise!!
Then it all went a bit Tim Burton.....
and I'm relying on Catherine to tell me exactly what font this is.
After a spot of grocery shopping in 'The Village' and a brief rest back at Tudor Towers, with a cappuccino made in Mrs T's magic pod-coffee machine (they have about 12 different types - it took me an age to choose!) with milk from Mrs T's magic milk frothing machine (apparently frothy milk scares Mrs T...), I set off back to TCR to collect The Boy from work.

We went to Red Veg (http://www.redveg.com/) on Dean Street for a scrumptious burger with bbq sauce and fries. Then on to the National Gallery, which is next to Trafalgar Square, to 'do some art'. It is free to get in! On the way we passed this little company's offices.

The Sainsbury's wing in the National Gallery was closed, which was a shame cos they'd got some dead old paintings in that bit, and we needed some bread, but we contented ourselves with a goodly dose of Renaissance art. Wow those pictures are a) massive, b) colourful (even after all these centuries) and c) realistic. The Boy kept having to have a sit down. I think he was a little bit impressed (as well as tired!). We both went to the loo, which was reasonably clean, had a look round the shop and bought some postcards, then headed back to Highgate.

Day 2 - Tuesday 20th March 2007

The Boy's Work Experience, London Town

or, Loos of London (the Bog Blog)

After the morning tube-commute and the obligatory cup of coffee in Caffe Nero (and another use of their dire loo) on Tottenham Court Road, I set off to visit the Tate Modern (because it's free you know). This entailed a trip by tube on the Jubilee line to Southwark. The Jubilee line is a bit space-age, I can tell you!

I arrived at the Tate at about 9.45, and of course it wasn't open, and it was bitterly cold! So I had a wander along the river to see what was about. I found a Starbucks, and, as beggars can't be choosers, I went in. I had an espresso (cos I didn't want to be there ALL day with one of their stupid big mugs of volcanically hot coffee!) and a bit of fruit cake, cos it always seems rude not to have gluten-free cake if it's available...... Their toilets were quite clean.

I passed the Globe theatre, which is round. I didn't go in there, as it wasn't open either (and you have to pay!).





By the time I got back to Tate modern it was open and I headed straight for the shop (my second favourite bit of any gallery or museum!). I bought a badge with a cute little pink doll on it.




Tate Modern used to be a power station, and is really, really massive. There are 3 helter skelters in the entrance (the Turbine Hall) but I didn't go on as I wanted to keep my fruit cake.

After using the loos (very nice!) I had a browse round the galleries. It's a fabulous place, and I'm sure it's marvelous and everything, but I just don't get modern art I'm afraid! I liked the funny smell, and there was a huge girder with a metal thing hanging from it which was very impressive and apparently meant something extremely profound, but most of it went over the top of my head. I did like the helter skelters though.......

I didn't go in the cafe as it looked a bit 'canteen', so when I'd had all I could take of modern art I set off across the Minellium bridge - which no longer wobbles.

It was like the arctic outside and I nearly lost my hat to the Thames. It's funny looking at the landmarks you see on TV all the time, they just don't look real.

St Pauls was covered in scaffolding, and you had to pay to get in there too, so I didn't bother (they didn't even have a caff!). It was a relief to get back underground out of the blistering wind.

At lunch time I met The Boy and we went to Pret a Manger, as we don't have this in Sheffield.

In the afternoon I used the toilets in: The British Museum, The National Portrait Gallery and the National Gallery. All quite acceptable.

Day 1 - Monday 19th March 2007

The Boy's Work Experience, London Town
or, Loos of London (the Bog Blog)

Day 1 - Monday March 19th 2007.

We were staying at 'Tudor Towers' (only kidding), home of the lovely Mr and Mrs Tudor, who we are related to (me only by marriage) and who are actually really the king and queen of Merrye Olde Englande. This is their castle in Highgate. It is most pleasing and extremely comfortable and we are very, very grateful!

Here is The Boy at 'the office'. You can tell he is not a real working man as he is smiling too much!This is the studio of Rokkit TV (www.rokkit.tv) who were kind and brave enough to take him on and show him the ropes of fetching the groceries, watching cartoons, cataloguing tapes and meeting Tony Slattery.

Seriously, The Boy got a real taste of life as a runner - even finishing work at 6.30pm!

Here is The Boy in the studio with his wonderful mentor, Ollie. Note the huge TV behind them! A big thanks to Ollie, who was great.

This is the branch of Caffe Nero on Tottenham Court Road where I went every morning to read the Metro, use the loo (foul!), plan my day and drink coffee. Then we'd meet up there after work in the evening.

I saw these monsters in the window of Habitat on Regents Street on my first day of wandering. They're designed by Christian Lacroix (dahling!) - aren't they cute?

The wonderful, ridiculous, only-the-English-could-do-it Liberty! I think Liberty is possibly even sillier than Harrods. 5 floors of Tudorbethan madness selling the most old-fashioned products imaginable. The first table visible inside their cafe (called 'Tea') has arm chairs and is nestled under an absurd tassled standard lamp. It's all incredibly Alice in Wonderland. I love it!!
Their toilets, however, were a huge disappointment.